We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I smell like Dick and happiness
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