the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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