my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
