Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
