Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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