Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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