so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Randomize
