We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
