she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
you made out with another girl for some wings
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
