Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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