every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
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It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
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