I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
