Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
