i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
