So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
are you so shy because you have an std?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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