Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
