i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
