yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I will pee on everything he values.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
