how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
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I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
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Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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