i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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