I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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