which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
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What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
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Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize