IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
