If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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