Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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