We're facebook friends in real life
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
