between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You had me at "let me see your balls"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
