Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
