Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
