New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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