Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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