Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
