i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
