LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
