he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
