Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize