And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
