I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize