What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
