guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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