So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
