I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
