Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
