I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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