Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You left your phone here
Wait...
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