This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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