so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
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can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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