I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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