I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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