i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
