This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
