My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's blow job season.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
