When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
