At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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