she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
