After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
