God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
