That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
